Fire Crotch

This experience was a very unforgettable one. It was a couple of days after Christmas and I got my new PJ Sparkle Baby doll. You know the ones that lit up when you shook it or moved it a tiny bit.

 I was so happy to have my new baby finally in my arms. Well one night me and my cousin Mckinzie was in our bedroom about to go to bed. Lying in bed I was extremely bored but not sleepy. So I started to shake my PJ Sparkle so that if she would light up. She did and lit up the whole room. It was so pretty and pink.

Every ass whooping I got well we all got was because of her. Well,  she had the ideal of wanting to light up some candles in our room to see what it looked like. So I snuck out of bed and ran, on my tippy toes in the den where the candles were, mind you they were huge. They were the size of a 24 oz can, anyways I grabbed those and ran back to bed. It was her turn but she had to go into Grandma's room, open her top drawer and take out her matches. Here is the thing about grandma's drawer it made all kinds of noises when trying to open. I suddenly heard a......

I just knew that she got caught... I was thinking it sucks to be her and hid under my covers. I heard her creep back in the room saying, "Tiff you awake?" "Yeah!" I said with my head still under the covers. I heard foot steps coming down the hall, my heart got to beating 200 miles per hour. OMG!! I can't breath...inhale..exhale. Grandma came in our room saying, "Yall need to go to bed." "Ok!" we both in unison. She shut the door. I had to catch my breath for a couple of minutes. Kinzie pulled out the matches, " I got'em." I pulled out my candles. "Got'em." Let the fun begin.

She lit the candle.. we were playing shadow animals..having a good time, laughing just being kids.  Until....

Boom!!! Went the door..then the lights came on. Damn that is a lot of smoke...

"What in the hell is all of that noise?..." "What the hell!!..Is that SMOKE in here?"

I looked at Kinzie and she looked at me, then we looked at Grandma... Kinzie I believe said the first thing that came to mind, "It was smoky outside so we shut the window." I co-signed really quick with bugged out eyes and just a nod of the head. Grandma looked at us I swore I saw the smoke coming from her nose and eyes where like fire. My sweet Grandma has turned into the monster that eats kids and I was scared.

Then she looked at us and smile, "Well, since you are lying to me I will give you a moment to think about it and closed the door. I opened the window we were both fanning our lives away. Then she throws me the candles and she keeps the matches, Ain't that a bitch, so I put them under my pillow still hot, burnt by the hot wax, but the wax was nothing compared to what was about to go down.

Grandma came back, "So. Do you want to tell the truth.?" I so wanted to say, "It was her fault.. she made me do it. I am sorry.. I love you beautiful Grandmother."

My lips nor my body could move. I think I am gonna faint. The room was spinning. The only thing I could remember is Kinzie pointing at me saying, "She wants it FIRST." FIRST!!!! First for what??!! Grandma headed straight towards me hands behind her back. Ok I am about to get my ass beat, I will except that but I was expecting a flyswatter...a switch...a shoe...the classic belt...WTF..what is that long skinny black thing. EXTENSION CORD!!! Really...before I was going to endure this pain..Mama where are you? Save me from the hell stricken pain that haunts me for the moment. "Turn over on your stomach." The thought just hurts my feelings, so I cried instantly, not because I was truly sorry, but because I wanted her to feel sorry for me.

Didn't work.

I could heard the cord as it whipped through the air. WHOOSH!!...POW...5.4.3.2.1. PAIN!!

My crying went from sympathy tears to hollering. After the first two the pain got worse to unbearable. I managed to get up away from her and I found myself myself jumping up and down on my bed like a little monkey hollering.

Then she went to Kinzie. My tears went from crying to laughing at the long dramatic sequences of "Mama No!!" She hollered I laughed but then her hollering turn from screams to a howling. That was a weird sound coming from a little girl. "Mama....Mama.. you hit my cootchie."  Grandma showed no sympathy.." It shouldn't have been in the way." Her face was red. I was crying from laughter, the pain was still there, but I forgot about it at that moment. I was sore for a few days but yet at least I didn't have fire crotch.

My little brother was laughing at us and Grandma asked him did he want some too.