Dear Fucking Diary

Dear Fuckin Diary,

Am I being punished? I feel that the cycle has continued from my past vendettas and results of bad karma. I am a grown woman now and the things that I use to do I should have grown out of but I haven't. Today is my big day to make a presentation for grad class and I am facing the worse period ever. I fuckin feel like I am either gonna cut a bitch or just cry. It is bad enough  already that my nerves are shot to hell and now my body aches from these frickin cramps. Bleeding like crazy, I feel like I want to die, when I move it moves too. I thought that I would be extra protected a tampon, pad, a wad of tissue and that is just being polite. Remembering that I didn't do laundry this week so I only have a long skirt and oversized "Granny Panties," but that  is alright, I was thinking I got this, just wrap the tissue around my panties and the pad, keep the grannies pulled up and then I am set.
On my way there I was chanting to myself "Girl you got this,"over and over again. When I got out of the car I was very confident, I ignored my visitor and kept it moving. I made it just in time, because I was up next. Cards in hand (check), smile on my face (check), so now I am ready to go. When I stepped on the stage, I literally felt like I was falling apart. The cramps went from minor to someone stabbing my insides with a fuckin butcher's knife and my extra protection down below made me feel like I was harboring a California king size bed. Getting into my my presentation I had to walk back and forth across the stage to try to capture my audience. I started feeling my grannies slide with each step. OMG!! I began to pray in my head ,"Please don't let them fall." The audience clapped  louder, my underwear was getting lower and my walking completely stopped. I was still talking to the class trying to speed up the conclusion so I can go handle the business and "Thump" I saw a couple of classmates look down at my feet, I could and would not bring myself to the humility that I was about to face, I didn't look down or out at them, I just felt warm underwear around my ankles. I was dummified, no being able to move. I wished at that time that someone was there to help or kill me and at that time I would settle for some tragic shit to go down. I slowly gathered my pride stepped out of my underwear, put them in my purse and left class for that day. Who in the hell can say that this has happened to them?