The Toilet Dream

It all starts from childhood, maybe adolescent years and possibly drunken adulthood.
This dream isn't just a dream that nobody has ever dreamt about in their life. We all have...This is THE TOILET DREAM..the root to many ass whoppings.

I could remember my toilet dreams. Those dreams... I considered those as nightmares. I had to find out the hard way that a hardhead makes a soft ass. My mom always cut us off from water maybe an hour before bed time. I though I could out smart her. 15 minutes before bed time I can fake like I am going to pee and take the longest sips of water from the faucet, thinking that this will hold me over throughout the night.
Don't judge I was thristy dammit.

Snuggled in bed all nice and tight, my body was refreshed and nourished with what felt like gallons, gallons and more gallons of water....off to dream land...

Omg.. I have to pee. So I get up out of bed and walk to the bathroom, it is weird because there is like a blurry white, smoky Ora clouding my vision. Straight aheadof me was all I could see. I rubbed my eyes you know just waking up maybe that is the cause of the blur. So I am rubbing and rubbing I see no change, to hell with it I have to pee. Reaching the end of my short journey to my porcelain rest haven of relief, I was happy. Actually I feel really good about this.
I can heard the angels singing.."Ahhh ohhhh." The toilet was beautiful, and hit glowed so clean and bright, I felt like I couldn't get my pajama pants down fast enough. I held my breath until my behind out feel the brisk hard coldness of the seat. I exhale and, "ahhhh!!"  that feels damn good...
Nice....
A little warm....warmer...hot.hotter......cooler....cold.....freezing stuck....
Is there a hole in this toilet? I FEEL WET...but I don't see where....
and then..
I OPENED MY EYES..TOTAL DARKNESS..
Oh man.. I didn't make the toilet hell I didn't even leave my bed........Well, I might as well just lay there I already know I am due for an ass whooping...

Teen years were blissful but it wasn't much as a toilet dream anymore. It was all about the gutbusting laughing so hard till I had to pee.
My friends and I were silly. I was almost like were made each other laugh on purpose just to see who would wet themselves first.
The park was the hangout. People joked, laughed, danced and rap. My home girl and I never missed a day at the park. Something happened and everyone was on the ground laughing. I couldn't recall the event but I do know the outcome of our situation. My friend was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face and I did too.
Laughing, laughing...can't catch breath...feel the urge....cross legs tightly together...think sad thoughts....
My friend looked at me with the uh oh look. I though that it was me so  I looked two tears dripped from my eyes onto my pants. Not the puddle that I had expected. I looked at her and Oh damn.. she was wet and still dripping, worse she had on khakhi pants, how obvious was that. I saw that and I cracked up laughing. I forgot my pausing situation.

She peed.....laughing.....laughing...can't breath......coughing....remembered to hold it....hold it...coughing..coughing...no stay there..drip...drip and puddle.
In broad day light. It was funny when were alone at the park, but everybody is here how embarrasing. taking our jackets and covering our front and backs we shamlessly went home. to vow to never laugh in public together again.



Adulthood seems to be all about stress. What do most of us do if you can't smoke weed..SUBSTITUTE!!! I drink myself into a stupor.
Great night at the club.
I was looking good, my girls was looking good and we didn't have to buy a drink that whole night. I took shot after shot after shot after shot.

 Within two hours I was the club's drunk bitch. I felt like a princess guys and girls buying me drinks. I never turned down a single one. I remember dancing with some guy he was big and felt like a mattress so soft so I just leaned on him and was dozing. Yep I said dozing right there on the dance floor with music going and people dancing.
He gave me a shot and that perked me up so I got back on the dance floor and that was all I remembered from the club scene.
I walk through the door..my house..trip..landing face flat....
I was in pain but yet comfortable..so I layed right there...

Damn.. I have to pee. So I get off the floor, with no drunken stumble walk to the bathroom, it is weird because there is like a blurry white, smoky Ora clouding my vision. Dejavu...Straight forward that was all I could see.  Reaching the end of my short journey to my porcelain rest haven of relief, I was happy. Actually I feel really good about this. I can hear the angels singing...again."Ahhh ohhhh." The toilet was beautiful, made for a queen and it glowed so clean and bright, I felt like I couldn't get my pajama pants down fast enough. I held my breath until my behind out feel the brisk hard coldness of the seat. I exhale and, "ahhhh!!"  that feels damn good...
I acutally made it to the toilet this time. I be damned if I piss myself as an adult.