What I shouldn't say out Loud.....

These are random saying that I have heard in a couple of weeks from different people...The crazy thing is I acutally wrote on a piece of paper so I wouldn't forget the randomness of speaking before thinking." and some are just funny things that were said out loud....

"I work with a bunch of trick turners"

"I have worn these panties for two days now, they don't stink. I can wear them again just turn them inside out."

"If you don't want your man , I'll take him."

"She looks like a perverted little man, in a workout short set on his way to a women's fitness center."

"One of his hands is very pretty"

"When I was pleasuring her a piece of tissue fell out of her "V" I just tucked it back in and sent her home."

"I have on three bra's"

" I can't come to work, my uncle's, cousin's, sister's little brother's, nephew's, daughter in law's bestfriend's aunt's son's wife's daughter, is sick so I won't be in today."

" Do you cook your husband cereal?"

" I don't love you but I would love to have sex with you."

"She smelled like some wet doughnut.."

"I am not fat...I am thick."

"I use to be on meth and now I want to take over drug court."

"We used to date, but he was married, but we still messed around until he was giving her more attention."

"I really wish she wouldn't talk to me. Her breath stinks."

"OMG!! Your daughter looks just like you. Lord help her get through this."

" I know your husband use to like this we done it all the time."

"I am not black..I am indian, irish, african, vietaminese, korean, chinese, norwegian, and two-thirds cherokee."

"He smells like Ketchup."

"You look really skinny, you look good,  but your pants are drooping."

"I am allergic to your smell"

"She smells like regret and despair."

"I heard you on the phone so is it your baby?"

"Tag me when you are talking about my status."

"I like men on men action."

"Don't waste your camera on her, delete that shit."

" Our sex life is boring, my dick won't grow."

" I will give you your $2.00 next month when I get paid."

"He don't sell pills officer, those are mine. He sells weed."

"He is not slow, but he is crazy."

"Be right back...bout to go to work and come home sick."

"Don't look at me right now, I just shat my pants."

"She walks like her pussy is wrong."