Wisdom is her name-o

So the family and I were in our way home from Alabama. I really hate road trips, and road trips with children are equally worse. Not because they exist, but because of all the bathroom breaks. So we stopped at a run down truck stop. The ones that you see in  murder movies where we ask for directions and old man Earl lead us the wrong way so we will get lost and  kill us or zombies chasing us at full speed. I was nervous and scared all in one, which heightened my sensation to pee. My wonderful cousin asked me to take her 5 year old daughter named Wisdom with me. I didn't mind. I'm thinking hey kill two birds with one stone. I should have known some shit was literally was about to go down.

On our way to our destination, I am dragging her, she is walking slow and  almost bumped into this elderly that weighted every bit of 400 to 500 pounds. No exaggeration included. This lady had her walking cane that look miserable it could literally feel its pain, but still served its purpose and she was running saying, "Oh god, please let me make it." With every step she took there were there were cussing and religious hymns coming out in unison. I was almost scared to be polite, even though she was old the way she was moving I knew she wasn't going to be able to hold it. On the other hand  just didn't want to smell the beast that was coming. We let her go first, but to my surprise the bathroom was just as big as shack of a truck stop. Actually looked clean and decent.

So I let Wisdom go in first, I had to make preparations like lining the toilet with loads and loads of paper. Then we heard the heavens open with a loud thundering roar; "Brrrrrraaaaaaaaaatatatatatat!!" Wisdom and I both froze in out spots.
"Oh thank ya Masa!!...Oh yes Lawd."
I wanted to giggle. I was kind of curious about the concerned look on Wisdom's face. She looked up at me and asked loudly,
"Ewwwwwwwww........Is she okay?" I could hear the other people waiting to go giggle.
"Sure sounds like it."
Wisdom didn't believe me so she knocked on the next stall saying,
 "Hey...Hey...are you alright in there?"
"Yes, honey I am."
Then Wisdom blurted out, "You sure don't smell like it, it can't breath." and started to hyperventilate like she was going to faint. I could agree it smelled like rotten cabbage, fresh dog do, sulfur and chitterlings rolled in one. Oh how I love my Little drama queen of a cousin. I still had to pee and embarrassed but couldn't keep her in there any longer. The waiting crowd thought she was hilarious. So a couple of miles down the road I had to make an announcement, "Excuse me, I have to pee." The one thing that had my deepest sympathy in this experience was the toilet. I know it would never be the same.